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How Shadowkeep and Dawn could've went incorporating more in game story Elements.
Shadowkeep/Undying - There are two major threads of this season, the darkness and the vex invasions. First of all, i wouldn't change the launch or the lead up to the launch it was fine i suppose. Maybe some lore tabs on the website about increased hive activity on the moon or maybe ikora has some new dialogues about eris being back or the hive activity. Anyways, going into this season, you'd proceed through the campaign normally and recieve the artifact. You'd then do the raid as normal and Eris tells you that the undying mind is back and launched a SYSTEM WIDE invasion of the solar system, like what I remember the vex invasions being advertised as. What this would basically mean is just there would be vex invasion PE's at the end of every PE on every planet and there'd be random squadrons of vex in every open world. You then go to talk to Ikora who tells you about the portal and the vex invasion game mode. NOTE: Everything here has to happen AFTER the raid is beat, it shouldn't have launched alongside the raid.
The memory of Eris' fireteam would continue unchanged, however after completing each weekly quest it is important that Eris has new dialogue about hashladun and increased hive activity around the sorrow harbour area, more importantly under the scarlett keep. I forgot to mention that in the Hashladun strike/story mission we don't kill her, instead she escapes. As we approach the pit of heresy / alters of sorrow release date, Hashladun should be the first alter of sorrow boss instead of the nightmare. EVERYONE should have her as a wave 6 boss the first time they do this activty, and upon beating the event we go to Eris who tells us about the Pit of Heresy and Zulmak. Omar has to be the last memory to align with the xenophage, and through Omar's quest we learn that the bug of Omar is in the Pit of Heresy. NOTE2: All of the memory quests must be complete before being able to enter the dungeon. You can have all 5 be done on that week so people don't get timegated, but this is hyper important as it makes no sense for u to get the xenophage before learning about Omar's bug in the dungeon.
We skip to the Eris cutscene in the pyramid, and after that we get dialogue about the taken Hydra that Oryx took. She doesn't have to explicitely state the name of Quria, in fact it'd be preferred if somehow it could be ambigous, but basically Eris is saying she saw the approach of Quria or learned of this approach. This should be around the last month of the season. NOTE3: At around the dungeon release or maybe two weeks after the dungeon release, brother Vance is going to have dialogue for anyone who talks to him but it won't be promted on the map. He's basically just going to say that this increase in vex activity on Mercury as a result of the invasions have garnered the attention of several of Red Legion Psion, most notably a group of Psion that used to be a part of Kargon's team. Yes Kargon the strike boss that we kill. This is mostly setup as the sundial/mercury has lots of vex tech, and kargon and his team should also know a lot about said tech. ON THE SAME WEEK as the pyramid cutscene, the drifter tells us that some old man has asked him to review some tech on mercury the other day. NOTE4: This dialogue will ONLY happen for people who chose Dredgen for allegiance, as drifter will view those people as his team.
On mercury , there is less and less vex activity, translating to less vex spawning in patrols and more cabal, as the psion flayers have developed a strong foothold on the planet. Vance will once again have dialogue telling us this. We then move to the final assault, and im not going to change the activity or anything and overall the vex story content this season was relatively good so i won't change what happens. HOWEVER, there should be a community event that should be beatable in a week involving killing the undying mind a bunch of times. When the communitY event is resovled, the last reset week will prompt you to flashpoint on mercury. We go to mercury, and on a DAILY rotation the scenary will switch between the future, past and present merucry and when we talk to Vance after the defeat of the communtiy event, Vance will basically say that time on mercury is fucked for some unknown reason, and we'll learned the cabal gained access to the infinite forest, which could be causing this. NOTE5: The followers of osiris are the ones informing vance about the red legion activity for anyone who was wondering. The last reset of the season should start with new dialogue from Ikora, telling us Osiris fucked up and we're going to need to talk to him leading into season of dawn.
SEASON OF THE DAWN - Osiris tells us that the undying mind was fighting off multiple cabal incursions into the infinite forest as well as on present day mercury. I forgot to mention this, but one of the Vance dialogue during shadowkeep should establish that the cabal were invading the infinite forest. He tells us that when we slew the undying mind, the cabal took control of the infinite forest and used it to access the various timelines we see in season of the dawn. The sundial should be inherently linked to the infinite forest, maybe it access's the forest's infinte accesses to the infinite timelines on mercury in order to change one. Sundial basically uses the infinite forest and gives Osiris the role of the vex in the forest. Since there is this link, the psion flayers would've found out about the sundial from their control of the forest. The rest of how the season started is fine so we'll go with what bungie gave us. We save saint 14 as per schedule on week 2, but instead of saint being GONE for the week, he's on different planets. The first day Saint is saved, he is with osiris at the sundial, and we get some dialogue between them. The next day he's on maybe the EDZ, talking about how the cosmodrome was omega different or smth and he just jumps planets. EDZ should actually be the last one he jumps to because its closest to last city. He should also haved stayed with Ana Bray learning about Rasputin, this will foreshadow Season of the Worthy. While on EDZ, or maybe in the tower, he'll mention that there is a masked guardian wandering the slums of the area. This is obviously a reference to Uldren, and as a guardian who doesn't know of Uldren's crimes, naturally Saint is friendly to him. We then progress to the tower obelisk and the normal busy work quests saint gave us on that day.
Around a month in, Eris will prompt us that a small squadron of red legion landed on the moon. We'll have a mission where we fight the cabal somewhere around the scarlett keep, and learn that they were looking for info on the fusion that created Zulmak. Additionally, some days Saint is off the tower and talking to Ana again about the darkness and rasputin and the normal stuff Ana talks about. Other days Saint will actually just be gone from the tower. A week after the Eris dialogue, or better yet, during the last week of the Dawning, we'll see that there is a new hunter just chilln on the steps of Saint's ship. Saint will likely introduce him as Nameless, or maybe by the ghost name of Pulled pork. Additionally, the ghost will be modifying uldren's voice, but it should be the same actor when he talks. Saint will mention how he found Uldren in the slums, and tells us about the disgusted looks he gets from others that he doesn''t know the reason too. At this point, no one knows he's uldren because of the mask and voice changer, however its clear the the citizens of the last city know uldren is back from the ship's lore tab. NOTE6: Throughout the season the citizens in the tower should have Idle Dialogue mentioning rumors of people seeing Uldren in the slums.
A week before inotam dropped, Saint will also mention that He's been talking to Vance and the other followers and learned about the trials of Osiris. This could be better done if we actually SEE him on mercury with Vance when he tells us this. Inotam and legend sundial finally drop, and we learn that Osiris is in the process of destroying the Sundial. He claims its too powerful a weapon to be used in the wrong hands, but he also says we need to go clean up one last this in the sundial before he can safely destroy it. This last thing is Inotam, and as we kill the psion we get prompted from either Ikora or Vance, where the hidden or the follower inform their respective vendor that the cabal have a gained interest in Hive rituals and have been performing some of their own. NOTE7: This actually should be the week BEFORE Inotam, not the same week. Effectively, after killing the psion the first time, Osiris informs us that he's set the sundial to be destroyed by bombs on THE LAST DAY OF THE SEASON which i forgot the date. He tells us that he has been looking into the things the Cabal learned about the hive and subsequently has other things to take care of, and after that we don't see him in the area anymore. Additionally, the cutscene with rasputin should come the following week along with the bungie lore tab. The empyrean restoration event will happen as normal, however towards the last 2 weeks of the season, or maybe even before then, we see Saint with Ana even more often, and we also see the masked guardian there too. NOTE8: I forgot to mention after Inotam dies, we learn from Ikora that the psion flayers used hive magic to essentially fuse their bodies into one, and the same week of Osiris' cutscene, we learn that a red legion ship has left orbit from vance. I don't remember the exact season of dawn timeline, but realistically Vance should tell us this a week BEFORE the season ends. The same lore tab with the sisters that tells us about the fourth sister on the bungie website will still role out.
Last week of the season, and we learn from Ana that Uldren and Saint have left for the Almighty as we also find out that the red legion ship left for the Almighty. She'll say that Zavala wanted to take this matter personally, but Saint after missing out on the Red War takes responsibility to deal with this. Uldren went with Saint because Uldren feels the need to gain some good faith with the guardians and has a friendship with Saint. NOTE9: Alternatively, Zavala can still be here, and the three guardians (Uldren, Ana, and Saint) tell us that they intend to leave for the almight soon as they recieved word from Zavala that the Cabal ship landed there. Our ghost offers to join. This will take us to the Season of the worthy. I benched Zavala and Ana for Saint and Uldren since S/U has been with us throughout nearly the entire season, and switching to new characters for the sendoff makes no sense. They can still be MC's of next season as S/U can likely just hand off the task to Zavala, since he's the leader, and Saint can offer Ana's help as he learned of Rasputin developments over Warmind dlc and thinks Rasputin can help.
I'm not doing Season of the Worthy because then it'd just be an essay here but this is how it should play it. There may also be dialogue from the drifter during season of dawn where he tells Drifter allegiance people that he knows who Uldren is, and maybe drops a riddle about his identity. We don't know its Uldren at this point yet. I know this is probably not within the limits of Bungie to actually do, thinking about cost for VA's and stuff, but this is how I would've done the story for the first half of the year. Drifter was a more important character in season of the worthy, with more importance on the allegiance quest we did.
I've had writer's block for three weeks, here's one of my last chapters, I think I'm losing steam
Was she really doing this right now? Thalia thought as she held her breath, and her invisibility spell as she crept along the rafters of the WestStar Hold, an old abandoned Wheelen base. At least it used to be abandoned, right now the WestStar Hold was occupied by who else? The men of the Hexigal Order.
Thalia was always cautious when the Guild came to her for a job, wanting to avoid the more scandalous aspects of the life of a thief. But when a pigeon order came offering a chance to strike a blow to the Order, she was more than willing to take it. More than a few times in Hillshade Thalia found herself reaching for her Daggers if the Order wanted to start trouble with her. It was quite liberating, she would never dress in the more, provocative outfits she had been wearing lately without the Order there to tell her she shouldn’t. It was fun getting ready in the morning, applying her blush, teasing her hair, her mother was a bit concerned and so was Donner. She knew he just wanted her to stay safe, but she also knew that he was giving her a once over almost every time he thought she wasn’t looking, and she was always looking.
Now was not the time for fancy hair or short dresses. Her stealth suit and hair tied up behind her head was her wardrobe for today. As reluctant as she always felt when she was offered a job, when she actually did one, she felt so serene, so confident, so in her element. With grace, she crossed the top rafters making her way to the makeshift war table that Heixgal had set up at the back of the small fort.
She could feel how silent her step was, how natural it felt moving quietly in the night, graceful pounces between rafters with silent step, much like her namesake the Fox. Thalia the Lady Fox, just a joke between her and Donner at first. But as she took more jobs, it had become her moniker the other Thieves she came across referred to her as. She just assumed it was common for a thief to have a second name. She had heard Christopher called scar a few times, and Steve called Smooth.
She got to the back of the keep and inspected her target. A set of plans for a Hexigal infiltration to the town surrounding Castle Woodsford. The castle was further north than any of the Hexigal encampments she had heard about, some tents outside smaller towns were one thing, but to try to bring their presence to the capital of the eastern fiefdom. Donner wouldn’t stand for that, and he was the greatest Hero she knew, so that meant Thalia certainly wouldn’t stand for it either.
She had gotten better at holding the invisibility spell, especially when she wasn’t moving, she didn’t even have to hold her breath if she was staying still now. She looked up and saw a Hexigal soldier in his blacker than black armor pacing towards her along the rafters. She jumped up and took a spot behind a pillar, waiting for him. She thought of the training that had been parsed to her by the thieves guild operatives in missions. It seemed every time she turned in a mission, the Representative of the guild who met her would impart, in addition to her pay, a tool or rare tome of the illusion school. Thalia had a suspicion it was her uncle Emerson passing these gifts along to her. As begrudging as she was taking yet another gift from her uncle they did come in handy. Her stealth suit now included a wrist grappler, new boots that had even more silent a step than the older pair had, and a very fashionable hood. She hated to admit it but seeing how slick they looked on other thieves, she had been eying one of those hoods for a while. She also had a tome of sleep she had researched and practiced on a few farm animals. Donner caught her and argued that she was just as mean to the sheep as he was when Lenny and he used one to bait a dragon. Of course, he was wrong, he blew one up to kill that dragon, Thalia was just knocking them out.
Thalia looked to her wrist, soon as the men of the Order weren’t looking, she would grab one of their plans and get out, simple job with the added benefit of a victory against Kinleath’s cold war with the Hexigal order.
Thalia felt a step of someone, she looked up, still holding her invisibility. A member of the Order patrolling the rafters. Emerson was right, her senses were getting more and more acute the more she honed her talents. She jumped up and with silent pace put herself against one of the forts pillars. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes, tapping her fingers against the pillar to send out a sensing spell to tell with the soldier was closer. When he was right on top of her, she whipped around and put a hand to his ear, touching it with her index and pinky finger, the motion of the sleep spell. She grabbed his admittedly heavy body and helped lead him down to the ground with little ruckus.
She turned her attention back to the war-table. The men were distracted, apparently one of the brothers had rolled a barrel of mead into the tower, laughing. In their public face, the Order was strictly against the consumption of alcohol. But leave it to those as awful as the order to be hypocrites on top of everything else that made them terrible. The soldiers shared a laugh and left the table unguarded. Thalia grabbed the rafter with her left hand and dipped down to get in range with her right, squeezing her middle and ring fingers to cast her grabber out to swipe out some of the important papers off the table. Hopefully, the men would be too concerned with the drink their religion was supposed to forbid to care that a few documents were missing. The grappler fastened to the papers with enchanted force and pulled them back to Thalia for her to quickly roll and slip in a pouch sewed into her suit. She pounced with a silent step across the rafters to the entrance of the fort. She grabbed a rafter with one hand and held true to her invisibility spell as she dropped herself down and slipped out the entrance. Once a safe distance from the fort she dispelled her spell under cover of the deep woods of former Wheelen, just a day's journey from her contact in Leonbruck, and that half a day from home in Hillshade.
“I should get Donner to see if he can get us some horses if we’re going to be adventurers,” she thought to herself as she made her way to the town. They would have the gold for it. This job paid fifteen hundred gold, and as Emerson always lauded, no taxes to be paid in this kind of work.
This kind of work, she was a thief, no getting around that now. In the last pigeon he sent her, Emerson said that there was an open invitation should she chose to become Guild Accepted. She never responded to that message, not yet at least. But how could a humble village girl with a mother struggling to put meat on the table resist the urge at the sheer volume of gold her new job could give her? What was she supposed to do? Ask Donner for more handouts, he would be willing, but would he only be willing under the guise that she would be his Lady. Did she want to be his Lady? Did Donner even still want her to be his Lady? She shook those thoughts from her head, she could make her own gold, no need to rely on a man like the Order would want her too.
This job would be a milestone in her career, she wouldn’t be meeting another Representative of the guild to act as a third party for the contract. Emerson told her she would be meeting a client face to face for the first time. Ironically A Knight of all people. The meeting point was scheduled in Leonbruck at their second most frequented pub, the Tall Tale, the Knight, Sir Segar the Sentinel Steed. She probably should have asked Donner if he knew of him, Donner seemed to know the history and accomplishments of almost every Knight there was, working or retired.
At Leonbruck she found the pub, was brought a glass of mead, on the house as it always was when she was in a pub in her stealth suit. How far did the guild’s influence go? were they reverent of her role? Or were they fearful? So many questions her journey into this line of work gave her.
She took a drink, beverages with a real alcohol content had a bit more bite than the ginger beer the Dapper spice served her friends and herself when they were under the guise of being simple children enjoying some time together in their youth. That bite was welcome though, she was a bit more than nervous, meeting a client face to face. She would have several questions that she knew she couldn’t ask. Why would a Knight enlist the Thieves when their whole order was based on the legitimacy of working for the nation of Kinleath. Emerson told her that Kinleath needed their work just as much as they needed the Knights, at first she scoffed at that notion. Yet, the thought she was able to fight the Order with her work, that made her feel that she was serving Kinleath just as much as Donner did.
“Sir Segar!” A drunk patron called out as the Knight sauntered into the pub. Segar shook his hand, “Good to see you,” Segar said, shaking the man’s hand.
“This man once ran a pack of wild dire boars out of our town singlehandedly,” the drunken man called out, holding strong to Segar’s shoulder, “Raise a glass you bastards!” he cried out. “What brings you back to our humble village great Sir?”
Segar smiled, nodded, and patted the man’s chest as he got out of his grip, “Just the work of a Knight, nothing more,” he nodded as his eyes wandered to find Thalia. The guild said the contract was being fulfilled by a younger member, but one this young was a bit of a surprise. He came to Thalia’s table and took a seat, “Is it you who I’m to do business with?” he asked.
“I believe it is,” Thalia smiled, “Do you have my payment,” she asked.
“Oh, so you’re all business, I like that,” he nodded.
“Well, business is important. But, personally, I love any chance to throw water in the face of the Order,” she smiled.
“So I assume that means you’ve procured what I’m after?” he asked.
“That I have,” Thalia pulled out the papers she gathered, but still held them close to herself, “You’re going to use this to fight the Order, right?” she asked.
“Aye, I know it may appear less than the standard of one of my profession to enlist one of yours, but many a Knight would tell you that you thieves have your own way of serving our country,” he smiled.
That’s what Donner told her, that’s what Emerson told her, “I’m not like other thieves,” she said, “I serve our country just as much as you, I even work with a Knight on occasion, we once found an artifact for the academy, a very important artifact,” she said, sitting tall and holding her shoulders up.
“I heard about to that, the young thief who went to court on the arm of Theodore’s Squire. In fact, that’s the very reason I requested you. Some men I share an interest with told me about you,” he said.
Thalia’s eyes widened, clients weren’t supposed to know anything about the thief doing the job for them, did Emerson and the other members tell him some of the work she had done, she shook her head. How was this game supposed to be played? Her first meeting with a client, it had to go right.
“Heard from another client, not from one of your guild, I know you’re type is sworn to secrecy, shadowy nameless agents and whatnot,” he said.
Her client? Did he mean the Headmaster of the academy? “I’m just here to do a job,” She said, shaking her head at the mounting coincidences this job was entailing. One of the bar maidens brought Sir Segal a drink. He took her arm and leaned in, “I trust your owner knows me,” He said
“Of course,” the bar maiden said, “The owner has already said he’ll be picking up your tab,” she nodded and left the two to their business.
Sir Segar turned to her “So, has the Thieve's guild once again proved the indispensable force for good that they have the capability of being when they feel like it,” he said.
“Take a look for yourself,” Thalia said, showing him the plans, “I took some time to look over them, they’re going to begin an incursion outside Woodsford Castle at the start of winter. I think they’re hoping that the colder season will make the people more open to their help, theirs plans to collect grains and distribute them to poorer citizens as winter sets in,” Thalia said.
Segar looked over the papers before rolling them up and slipping them into his satchel, “This Order is unlike any enemy we’ve fought, mostly because they haven’t shown themselves as an obvious enemy yet. Their debut in our land was stopping a zombie horde the likes of which never seen. We still don’t know what caused it, what kind of Wizard would summon that many zombies, in that many towns, for what reason was he after, and of course, no Wizard has been caught with a tome capable of that kind of magic,” he sighed.
“I have a thought,” Thalia said, about to share something she hadn’t even shared with Donner, “Sir Knight, do you think it’s possible they were behind it, somehow? I’ve heard the Order has Wizards at their disposal,” Thalia asked.
“Some of my compatriots have that same thought, but we’ve nothing to prove it,” Segar’s face went straight.
“Your compatriots, the other Knights?” she asked.
“Not exactly,” he shrugged, “I’ve said to much,” he shook his head and reached into his pocket pulling out a sack of coin, “I do believe I owe you payment,” he said, sliding the pouch to his contractor.
“Thank you, I want you to know, because I don’t know if other Thieves you’ve worked with had said this, but I respect Knights. I respect the work you do, I know you fight for our country, for the world,” she smiled as she took her payment and put it in her satchel.
“Tell your Knight, Theodore’s Squire, the Slayer of the Rat God, we have our eye on him, we’re eager to see how he performs as he advances in his career,” he looked away and took a swig of his drink, then turned back to Thalia, “And tell him the order entire gives their deepest sympathies for the death of his master. I can tell you there's not a Knight in Kinleath who didn’t raise a drink to Theodore’s name the night they heard, such a tragedy,” he shook his head, “How’s he holding up?” he asked.
“He was in rough place for a while, but he found his way out,” Thalia smiled, remembering the moment she saw the light in Donner’s eyes come back when they were in Long Tower together.
“Good, good, if Theodore saw something in him, we’re going to need a Knight like that,” he looked away and said in a voice that sounded like it thought no one could hear, “The storm’s coming,” he sighed.
“What?” Thalia asked.
“Nothing,” Segar laughed nervously, “Just an old Knight saying, from before your time,” He took his glass and finished his drink, “Well, with our business done, I will bid you good day soon, take your coin and buy yourself a nice fancy dress, I bet your Knight thinks you look so pretty in good dress,” he smiled.
Thalia laughed, “You have no idea. When I’m not working I just like to stroll around my town all dolled up, I toss my hair, wear short dresses, makes the men of the Order furious,” she grinned.
Segar laughed, “I can see why you come so highly recommend, you’ve got a fire in you, don’t you?” he asked.
“I will live how I want to live,” she smiled, then looked down, a sour look coming on her face before she looked back up, “We can beat them, right?” she asked, “The Order I mean,” she bit her lip. This Knight seemed to be quite a capable man.
“It’s not a question of can we beat them, it’s a statement that we will beat them. Kinleath and her Knights have destroyed every force that thought it could burn our way of life, as free men, not the Order, an upstart Galiean rebellion, going all the way back to the Elves, Kinleath led the fight against them. Your Knight is a Kinleath man. From what I’ve heard of this Donner McClure, yes I do know his name, he’s a Kinleath man through and through, that’s what we’ll need. And we’ll need it sooner than you might think,” he said.
“Donner will be there, so will I, and his Wizard, and his Cleric, one of the most devout to the gods one could find,” Thalia said.
“Yes, I’ve heard, the famous adventuring party he’s built, quite a force you must be, good for you,” he laughed as he rose to his feet. “Keep adventuring, kids like you give us hope for the future, and I can’t get into detail, but the future is going to need it,” he smiled before turning to make his way out of the bar, looking over his shoulder.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Thalia said, smiling back to the brave Sir Knight.
(Also just saying that when the Knight says "A Storm is coming" that's a huge plot drop to the bigger world I'm building, trying to say he's part of a secretive order the MC has been inducted into fighting a threat even greater than the Order)
I've been in writer's block for 3 weeks, I just really need someone to tell me if I'm losing it or not, cause if I am I need to know